12/29/2010

I've been listening to a bit of soul music lately. Eddie Kendricks is one of my faves, and this is one of my fave songs. Weezy fans will recognise the tune from Let the Beat Build. I can't say much about Kayne West as a rapper, but the man is a fucking sample master.

Hard as fuck

Catching up

Christmas was pretty interesting this year. I went to stay with my family in Vancouver for a few days and I kind of got put in the middle of a bunch of drama that I really didn't want to get involved in. It was the first time I've ever experienced any sort of weird shit around the holidays, and now I know why some people are apprehensive about spending Christmas with family. the major up side was that I got to spend a little time with Teej and co. on the night of the 25th and morning of the 26th. Went for breakfast and record shopping and it was awesome. I love living in Victoria but sometimes I really miss seeing those guys on a more regular basis.

My boss called me yesterday afternoon and told me that not a single piece of freight came over from Vancouver so I could have the rest of the week off. I'm going a little stir crazy from not exercising, but it's nice to be able to chill at home or with friends. Went over to Jesse and Linde's place last night for dinner and then Jess and I came back here, started the second season of Eastbound & Down, watched hip hop videos on youtube and had tat talk and tea. So far so good.

Today I kind of slept in and puttered around the apartment for a bit before heading downtown to hang out with Ken at Street level. Cam and Josh showed up and we ended up going for delicious sandwiches at the Italian Deli and then to the W.I.N. store where I found this cute little fella.

It's an (empty) Avon perfume container from the 70's. It still smells like a lady inside, and not totally rotten like I expected when I opened it up. Not sure what I'll stash inside, but it sure looks cool.

12/05/2010

Whiskey

Drinkin' with my boss is always a good time.

11/30/2010

I know I have to do it every year, but I just can't get used to going to work at sun rise, and coming home when it's practically dark. Uh, I'll have summer back now, please. The weather has been so weird that I haven't gone running in a little while. I've been trying to use other outlets to decompress as well because I knew that going for a quick jog couldn't always be an option once it started to get shitty outside.

The weekend was fun as hell. Friday I just chilled with Athanasia and watched the awful Night of the Demons remake and ate pizza. I initially went to my buddy's art show, but then I realised that I wasn't feeling very social and I hate art shows so I bounced. Saturday though, shit, major fun. Started off at Oak Bay Bikes for their customer appreciation night that I crash every couple of years. Open bar, free food and prizes, plus I get to mingle with the bike industry types that I never get to really see anymore since I stopped working in shops. Stayed there til about 9 or so and then hammered out to Recyclistas for their 7th anni party and hung out with the usual dudes. Got way too drunk and accidentally smoked a few cigarettes (oops), watched some great bands and partied til 4 am. Then after a very cold, and seemingly very long bike ride home with Cam and Phoebe (on which Phoebe bailed and I had no idea) I was snug and warm in my bed. Only to wake up like 3 hours later because for some reason I just can't sleep in no matter what time my head hits the pillow. Woke up still pretty wasted so I decided I might as well just keep going and I got a friend over to get day drunk while playing monopoly and watching horror movies.

Good times.

I'm pretty set in my ways, and I've always been comfortable with that. Sometimes though, I think it's important to flip your world upside down just to experience the other side of things. Take yourself out of the normality that has become your life and do things that you wouldn't do just because they might make you uncomfortable, or go against your personal morals, or even because it's something you've never tried. I think that if you do that once in a while it makes you appreciate yourself and all you have around you a lot more.

I did just that this weekend.

11/27/2010

11/23/2010

Nothing in particular to say.



Someone glued googly eyes to the John A. MacDonald statue outside city hall and I got a real kick out of it. He looks surprised and judgmental.

11/21/2010

Staying on top of things

Jogging - Day 2
My jogging/bottle collecting? get up and my choice of tunage.
jogging 11/21/10

I woke up at a completely unholy hour this morning and couldn't get back to what I would call a "normal" pattern of sleep. My remedy? Lay in bed listening to Vinyl Café until the sun comes out and warms my bedroom enough for me to justify getting out from under the covers. Then I have a quick breakfast, get suited up in my hobo gear and have a run along Dallas road in Ross Bay. I'm starting to discover that my fellow joggers aren't really that friendly of a bunch. I always give a little smile or a "hello" as I pass but they all just look at me like I have something on my face. I never realised that dressing like a bum and running without being chased was such a serious matter.

I've been having a lot of fun with life lately. Hanging out with people that I really thought that I'd lost connections with. It's nice to know that even though I might disappear for a while they always welcome me back into the friend circle with open arms. I think I seriously have the best buds around. I've also been learning to appreciate hanging out by myself. In my 28 years I've never really given myself the opportunity to have some real alone time every now and then to do my thing and not have to worry about catering to another person who might be present. I've always either lived with people or just always tried to surround myself with company, whether it be a girlfriend, a spouse, or friends. I always tried to be social and keep myself busy with others. So now I'm dedicating 2 days a week to not hanging out with anyone. I just sit at home and occupy my time with chores or just vegging out in front of the TV or a book. It's taking some getting used to but I'm starting to really enjoy it.

11/19/2010

Try this again

Kind of forgot about this thing. I've mostly been keeping a paper journal lately because I feel like I have way more freedom with it. I don't have to worry about choosing my words carefully in order to spare someone else's feelings. I use it as a log of my deepest thoughts and emotions so I can go back to it and really think about why I was feeling that way at the time, and if it was worth it. I definitely like to use public blogs for talking about things that interest me, make me happy, or maybe I'll post a more subdued version of how I feel throughout the day.

I got the day off today and I felt a little anxious this morning so I went for a run. It really helped me get my mind off of some shit that I've been dealing with for a little bit, and it also made me feel like a powerhouse. My legs felt like tree trunks afterward. Sore tree trunks, but trunkish nonetheless. I didn't go for very long either, I can ride my bike forever but I'm not used to using the muscles required to jog so I had to take breaks every now and then to walk. I did manage to go for almost the entire length of The Carter III and I went from my place, all around Rockland, and to Cadboro Bay. I think I'm gonna make a habit of either going early in the morning before work, or later on before I have dinner.

I didn't see as many other joggers around Rockland as I thought I would. Just one lady who would go for about a block and then have to stop and walk the next block. Maybe I'm doing it wrong because I didn't stop running until I was half way home.

I must still not be fully recovered from being a smoker for so long because I seem to be coughing a bit like there's something still stuck in my lungs and it's starting to give me a bit of a headache. I guess I'll go make myself some tea, throw on some tunes and read a bit.

6/10/2010

This shit sucks

Panic disorder

In panic disorder, a person suffers from brief attacks of intense terror and apprehension, often marked by trembling, shaking, confusion, dizziness, nausea, difficulty breathing. These panic attacks, defined by the APA as fear or discomfort that abruptly arises and peaks in less than ten minutes, can last for several hours and can be triggered by stress, fear, or even exercise; although the specific cause is not always apparent.

In addition to recurrent unexpected panic attacks, a diagnosis of panic disorder also requires that said attacks have chronic consequences: either worry over the attacks' potential implications, persistent fear of future attacks, or significant changes in behavior related to the attacks. Accordingly, those suffering from panic disorder experience symptoms even outside specific panic episodes. Often, normal changes in heartbeat are noticed by a panic sufferer, leading them to think something is wrong with their heart or they are about to have another panic attack. In some cases, a heightened awareness (hypervigilance) of body functioning occurs during panic attacks, wherein any perceived physiological change is interpreted as a possible life threatening illness (i.e. extreme hypochondriasis) .

6/07/2010